No One Way

Look for the Road Less Travelled

Do you feel trapped in the life you are leading and see no way out?

Has life kicked you in the ass, knocked you on your knees and stepped back to see what you would do?

If so, the biggest challenge you may need to tackle is changing your belief that the one way you see life is the only way.

When you were young, your personal operating system was binary and you were only aware of one right way to live life – the way your parents and community lived.  As a child you were told: Yes / No; Go / Stop; Do / Don’t.  The world was black and white, there was no grey.  If you choose one, you were right.  If you choose the other, you were wrong.  As a result of this feedback, you quickly formed a judgement system that guided you through your life.  This was a good thing – it helped ensure that you made it through your teenage years!

As your awareness increased and your life became more complicated, you often held tight to those original beliefs about the world.  Even when you were able to start seeing the gray in life, your original set of beliefs about what was right and wrong, still formed the core of your decision making processes.  You and everyone around you, all seemed to know the one right way to live, and shaped your lives accordingly.  You frequently judged others who didn’t live their lives your way and made a conscious choice to surround yourself with those like you. This was a comfortable way to live and many people do so all their lives. They follow the road most travelled by those around them.

If you were lucky, however, life proved your beliefs wrong or made it difficult for you to stay on

your one right path.

Lucky? Yes, that is right.  With a positive attitude and a growth mindset, each block you encounter has the potential to be a blessing, even though it might seem like a curse at the time. Perhaps this is where you are today.

Do you feel trapped? Has life kicked you in the ass?

When life takes control and sets up the circumstances just right, your beliefs may be challenged, your world can be rocked and life can feel very precarious.  You may wonder why you can no longer clearly see the path on which you have been.  You may feel lost, confused and depressed.  When life knocks you down to your knees, makes you feel trapped, or closes off the path you were on, you are forced to find another way to move forward or choose to survive in a mind-numbing stasis state.

In the mad dash scramble to grab on to something stable, the only thing you can really get a hold of is you.  If you are going to keep moving, you need to believe in your ability to change.  At your core, you are the same person, but now you need to grow in a new way.  It is scary and there is no roadmap, but you need to question your old way of living and thinking.   You need to let go of old beliefs that hinder your progress.  In many ways, you need to be like a kid again and not know.  This is a beautiful place to be, if you embrace it.  Life is interesting and fascinating and wondrous.  You may not be sure about anything, so you need to look at everything with new eyes and begin to learn again.  Breaking free from your fixed mindset and adopting a growth mindset will enable you to change direction and find a new path.

Breaking down our old ways of thinking is a critical step to

growing and thriving in change.

Most of my perspective changing experiences were very painful or embarrassing, but I feel so blessed to have had them. They were truly enlightening.  You see, with each experience, I learned the hard way that I was looking at life from only one perspective. Maybe I have been given this gift of being wrong, more than others, because I struggled more than many, to see the grey.  Or, maybe I was just lucky, because life has proved me wrong and placed barriers in my path again, and again, and again.  Each time, has been a gift.

In my efforts to keep moving, I have discovered many ways to approach life, all with their challenges and benefits.  As a result, I accept more and I judge less.  I’m a work in progress, of course, but I’m proud of how far I have come and I am enjoying the journey.

I have learned there is no one perspective, there is no one answer, there is no one approach and there is no one right way to live life.

There are many ways, and we are only able to find them if we keep an open mind and look at life with curiosity, rather than judgement and knowing.

In order to uncover a passion or find the courage to chase a dream, identifying and questioning the validity of the beliefs you hold about your own one way of living, is one of the most powerful exercises you can do.  Believe that the barriers are there for a reason. No matter how painful, there is an opportunity for you to grow. Seek different perspectives and choose to keep moving, rather than stay trapped behind the barriers placed in your path.  Often, you will discover that shifting your perspective eliminates many of the hurdles you thought were there.

If you question your beliefs, keep learning and start exploring, instead of finding the path others have created, you will find the path that is meant for you.

There is no one way to get where you are going. 

The road less traveled is calling.

Is it time to REvolve YOU?

Follow me for more ideas on how to re-invent and thrive in transition.

Twitter: @REvolveYOU